writer
rachel, 21, art music literature architecture fashion philosophy
my website
Cherchez Beauté
wishlist
Books I want
tree of codes - jonathan safran foer
six walks in the fictional woods - umberto eco
the separate heart and other stories - simon robson
generosity - richard powers
shades of grey 2 - jasper fforde
fiction ilustrado - miguel syjuco
mr peanut - adam ross
light boxes - shane jones
a void - georges perec
the mind's eye - oliver sacks
the fall - guillermo deltoro
bel canto - ann patchett
wolf hall - hilary mantel
my name is red - orhan pamuk
the misfortune - wesley stace
time's arrow - martin amis
darkmans - nicola barker
Skin Care I Want
Anne Semonin Eye Express Radiance Ice Cube
Benefit Ultra Radiance Face Re-hydrating Mist
Clinique Repairwear Intensive Eye Cream
Murad Essential C Eye Cream SPF 15
No. 7 Protect & Perfect Intense Eye Cream
Tokyo Milk - EVERYTHING. I want everything from them, darn it.
Make Up I Want
Amazing Cosmetics Amazing Anti-Aging Face Primer
Benefit Sugarbomb
Benefit Moon Beam
Canmake Cream Cheek Blush Sweet Apricot
Coffret D'or Shine Drape Rouge (Glow)
Le Metier de Beaute Creme Fresh Tint in Poppy
Tarte Amazonian Clay Blush in Blissful
YSL Pure Black Lip Gloss
Other Stuff I want
Nail Polish Lemmings
Essie Starry Starry Night
Chanel Ciel de Nuit
Clarins 230
a-england Lady of the Lake
BB Couture Dragon's Breath
BB Couture Napa Valley Red
Bb Couture Mendocino Midnight
BB Couture Redwood Forest and loads more BB Couture polishes...
Butter LONDON Black Knight
Butter LONDON Tart With a Heart
Color Club Untamed Luxury
Color Club Otherworldly
Color Club Scent-suous Gingerbread Man
Color Club Scent-suous Santa's Cinnamon
Color Club Scent-suous Sugar Plum Yum
China Glaze OMG! Collection
Cult Nails Hypnotize Me
Deborah Lippmann Edge of Glory Holographic top coat
Deborah Lippmann Call Me Irresponsible
Deborah Lippmann Forget You
Dior Exquis
Essie Geranium
Essie Strawberry Sorbet
Essie Swept Off My Feet
Essie Mademoiselle
Essie Marshmallow
Essie Mesmerize
Essie As Gold As It Gets
Essie Pure Pearlfection
Estessimo TiNS The Neo-Vintage Dress
Etude House BL009
Etude House WH004
Finger Paints Special Effects Asylum
Finger Paints Special Effects Twisted
Finger Paints Evergreen Dream
Finger Paints Sparkle Top Coat
Finger Paints Cordur Orange
Finger Paints Holly Good Times
Finger Paints Floatin' On a Cloud
Glitter Gal Marine Blue
Golden Rose Scale Effects: 2, 5, 11
HITS Lambada Flake
HITS Valsa Flake
Illamasqua Rampage
Illamasqua Boo! and Hiss Nail Pantomime Duo
Kleancolor Metallic Orange
Kleancolor Metallic Green
Kleancolor Holo Chrome
L'Oreal Owl's Night
Ludurana Aurora Boreal Reluz
Ludurana Aurora Boreal Emocionnante
Lynnderella (
Llarowe stocks in January) Cauldron Drippings
Lynnderella Happy Holo-Daze
Lynnderella Gotta Love Brains
Lynnderella Bride of Franken
OPI Time-less is more
OPI DS Extravagance
OPI Diva of Geneva
OPI Jade is the New Black
OPI Can You Tapas This
Orly Galaxy Girl
Orly Lunar Eclipse
Orly Au Champagne
Orly Royal Velvet
Orly Meet Me Under the Mistletoe
Orly Happily Ever After
Ozotic 624
Ozotic 531
Ozotic 532
pa A19
pa Q24
pa A24
pa A134
Periphera - any polishes, especially the perfume enamels as I don't have these yet. From Korea.
Picture Polish Hypnotic (Coming out in 2012)
Picture Polish Vegas
Mavala Agena
Missha HGR01
Nicole by OPI Hard-Kourt Fashionista
Nicole by OPI Kourt is Red-y For a Pedi
Nfu Oh 51
Nfu Oh 52
Nfu Oh 56
Nubar Peacock Feathers
Nubar 2010
Nubar Swiss Chocolate
Nubar Sour Candy
Nubar Gold Feather
Nubar Greener
Nubar Indigo Illusion
Nubar WIldlife
Nubar Purple Beach
Rescue Beauty Lounge Recherche
Rescue Beauty Lounge Anne
Revlon Facets of Fuschia
Sally Hansen Nail Prisms Turquoise Opal
SpaRitual Golden Gleam
SpaRitual Howl
Zoya Casey
Zoya Adina
Zoya Kimmy
cool stuff
Style.com
City of Skies
Flickr
Spinner
Fashion Nation
Scrangie
Vampy Varnish
All Lacquered Up
credits
maker
picture
brushes
blogspot
blogskins
Monday, May 31, 2010
obsessed
about everything. (Everything is something else)
let me tell
you something: there are so many things on my mind right now. i am not sure what to think of everything. things happen; people come and go. some people are like a tape stuck on rewind, jarring but inevitably there. it will be hard to unravel the reel of tape because it has been running for too long and some bits have been woven into the metal while others are irretrievably lost.
i thought it would have been harder to blind myself to what was playing on the reel; the flashbacks that showed me slices of time i used to enjoy - time not spent alone. did you know i blinkered myself after that day so i could only see what was playing on the reel? i kept returning to the things that hurt. they were more familiar and i wanted to make myself hurt so bad i would remember.
i didn't plan on alleviating any of the burdens i felt. i thought it would be better that way. reminds me that each day is another burden on the conscience of time; each night spent in fear, avoiding nightmares and thoughts of the past. i tend to be nostalgic - but not for very long. there comes a time when nostalgia reeks so strongly of melancholy that i have to push it away, not only for my own sanity but also to make way for new memories.
that is what is happening. i am making new memories and i am beginning to forget, slowly but surely, the past that hurt. it is not really a conscious decision i have made, being more a reflex action of my mind, perhaps, in a bid to return my state of equilibrium, which is quite high up on the happiness scale.
in a way, i am healing from the injuries i set up for myself from the beginning right up to the end. you were merely the catalyst; i cannot blame you. i set myself up for it and i deserved it. and somehow, now, my mind is pushing you out along with all my memories of you.
i don't know what to feel or think about that. i really don't know.
hide your face @
10:52 PM
4 unmasked
